


A Tale of Two Seahorses

by xenospider



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alien Biology, Anal, Blow Jobs, Consentacles, Creampie, Cumdumpster, Dimensional Travel, Fuck Or Die, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mpreg, Nausea, New Relationship, Other, Oviposition, Peter is 27, Restraints, Smut, Sounding, Tentacles, Wade is 35, artwork, belly bulge, lots of kinks, they'll be added to tags as they appear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-10 11:20:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11690559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenospider/pseuds/xenospider
Summary: Wade and Peter have just gotten together after a slow burn. They're about to go home and get nasty when they run across Doctor Strange fighting some giant tentacle monster. They don't bother listening to him when he tells them to scram, and end up killing the thing. Unfortunately, when it dies, it sets off a blast of energy and they are shunted off into another dimension, where they are trapped.Then they meet another monster, very similar to the one they (Wade) killed, and are presented with a way to get home that is... unusual. Wade is intrigued. Peter isn't.





	1. Strange Journey

The scene was ridiculously idyllic. The sun was arcing its way down in the sky, the clouds were at the perfect density and elevation to throw brilliant colors over the city, and two figures stood on a rooftop gazing at each other. It was the first beautiful moment after they had come to an understanding, expressing their mutual feelings. It had been a long road to get here, but the future looked wonderful.

The kiss was electric. Wade had never had better. Spidey was a _damn_ good kisser, with his tongue and hands doing great things while their mouths were locked together. It might also have something to do with how long Wade had been wanting this, but he didn’t care. He was enjoying the hell out of it.

They broke apart finally, both of them catching their breath. Peter left his hands on Wade’s chest, exploring the muscles, a little smirk on his face.

“All right, Webs, if you’re gonna be all groping my tiddies, then I get to grope that delicious bubble butt of yours.” Wade grinned and wrapped his arms around to slap them onto Peter’s ass. “Hmm, too bad there’s all this spandex in the way.”

Peter snarled at him, but didn’t move away, instead rubbing up closer. “You’re an asshole.”

“Aw, but that’s why you love me!” Wade ducked his head to nuzzle and bite Spidey’s neck. “Baby boy, I cannot _wait_ to get you home, get you out of those clothes, and get my hands all over you.”

Spidey slid his hands up and down Wade’s back. “You know, uh, I haven’t dated a guy before. So I haven’t exactly...” He trailed off, pursing his lips and frowning.

Wade gasped and grabbed him by the shoulders. “You mean?? I get to be an expert at something? You aren’t a genius at _everything_?”

Peter squirmed in Wade’s grasp. “Uh. Well. These last few weeks I _may_ have thought about it, and _may_ have done some internet searches. Give the NSA something to talk about, right?”

“You mean you were googling porn while you were falling for my masculine charm?” Wade propped one hand on his hip and the other behind his head, kinking his spine to emphasize his form.

Rolling his eyes, Peter tugged him in for another kiss. “You’ve really cleaned up your act,” he said. “You know how proud I am of you?”

“Here’s to great power and responsibility!” Wade lifted a fist into the air, wrapping an arm around Peter’s waist.

Peter released him and started across the roof, feet crunching in the gravel. “You’re not making fun of me, are you? I take my great responsibility seriously, as corny as it sounds.”

“Oh, honey, I will be _so_ responsible,” Wade said, following after him. “The rewards are well worth it.” Reaching out, he trailed a hand down Spidey’s back to cup his ass again. “Mm, nice.”

“Watch it, buddy. I’m gonna bone you so hard, but I still wanna take things slow, okay?” He paused. “At least, y’know, as far as my ass is concerned.”

“It’s gonna be hard-- _so hard_ , baby--but I will exercise as much restraint as you need.”

_Wouldn’t want him changing his mind on us._

**Aw, Petey’s not like that! He wouldn’t do that to us!**

“I appreciate that,” Peter said with a chuckle. “Don’t think I won’t have my hands all over you soon enough.”

“Yes, sir!” Wade clacked his boots together and threw a salute. “Shall we commence with the sexing now?”

“As long as we don’t run into trouble on the way back to my place, hell yeah,” Peter said. He perched on the edge of the roof and pointed a thumb at his back. “Hop on.”

**Spidey ride! Spidey ride! Yay!**

“Don’t have to ask me twice!” Wade slipped his arms around Peter’s shoulders and held on tight as they swung off the roof together. “The city has been pretty quiet for a couple days. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to play.” He snuggled against Peter’s back, nuzzling his neck.

_Oh. You didn’t._

**Shit man, we really said that.**

“What?”

_You know you’ve jinxed us now._

“Not hardly! We just got together! We get at _least_ one orgasm before the next alien invasion!

“What?” Peter shouted over the wind.

“Nothing!” Wade gave him an affectionate squeeze.

This was nice. It was _great_. Wade didn’t want to be sappy or anything--

_Of course you do, moron._

**We deserve some sappy!**

\--but this felt like almost a dream come true. He’d remember this day forever, and he hoped that he could be worthy of Peter’s trust and affection for a long time to come.

It was on the highest arc of one of Peter’s swings that they heard the noise. An inhuman, ungodly, otherworldly scream pierced the air, coming from the direction of Central Park. Without pause, Spider-Man twisted in midair and began to head in that direction.

“No. Ohhhh no. No, Spidey, please, let the Avengers handle it, or the Fantastic Four or something!” Wade couldn’t believe his rotten luck.

_Told you you fucking jinxed it._

**Totally jinxed.**

Wade sobbed.

“What was that?” Peter said. “I can’t hear you over the sound of my _great responsibility!_ ”

“I love you, I do,” Wade growled. “But I also hate you!” This was totally going to ruin his evening plans. He’d really wanted to get his hands and mouth all over Peter. Suck on his nipples, jerk him off, give him a blow job, maybe a bit of rimming action. All that delightfully nasty stuff he wanted to try so he could hear Peter make all kinds of noises.

“From the sound of things, I’m sure I’ll be hating me too before nightfall!”

Along with the horrible noises, before the two men arrived on the scene they could see blasts of multicolored energy flying through the air, and strange glowing clouds drifting up from the trees on the north end of the park.

“Are you sure you don’t want to leave this for someone with a higher pay grade?” Wade shouted.

“Don’t tap out on me now, Wade! We’ve faced worse!”

There was no building close enough to where the battle was happening, so they had to land at the edge of the park and run towards it. Feet slapping on the concrete path, Wade struggled to keep up with Spidey and his stupid reflexes.

“Come on! We’ll have whatever it is licked in no time, and can get on with our plans to get all naked and sweaty!” Peter said.

“I like the way you think!”

The scene as they approached was like out of an HP Lovecraft story. Doctor Strange was faced off against an enormous monster with too many arms and a pointed head. No, it wasn’t so much arms that the creature had, it was more like tentacles. It looked like it had all sorts of them for any and all functions. Its skin was mottled and shifting like some kind of sea creature.

Spider-Man skidded to a halt. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“Spider-Man! Deadpool!” Strange called out to them. He was standing thirty feet away from the creature, his arms up and surrounded by a purplish glow. This energy linked him to an accompanying cloud clinging to the outline of the monster, and it was clear that he was struggling with it. “Leave this to me!”

“Shit, I don’t want to get eaten by an Eldrich Horror, but…” Without another word, Peter leaped into the air to attach himself to the back of the monster’s head. What looked like its head, anyway.

“And I wanted to spend the night in! But nooo!” Wade danced around to the other side of the mottled monster, drawing his swords.

Strange was turning red in the face, his hands twitching as he continued to struggle. “No! Stop, you don’t understand!”

“Don’t worry, Stevey boy! We’ll help wear it down for ya!” Wade shouted. He danced away from a huge black appendage swinging in his direction, and then neatly sliced through it with his katanas. Thick, greenish slime spewed from the severed appendage, slopping all over the ground and Wade’s uniform. Surprisingly it didn’t smell awful, though it smelled like too many essential oils spilled together.

The beast screamed, flailing away from Deadpool and the pain he’d caused. Angry, stressful colors rippled across its tough hide. It bucked and screeched as Spider-Man held on, throwing punches at it to try and settle it down. He began throwing webbing around to hold it still and trap it against nearby trees.

“Wade! We don’t have to kill it!” Peter yelled at him.

Doctor Strange was pretty worked up. “You don’t have to do anything! Leave now!!”

“It looks like the kind of thing that can regrow shit back! Don’t worry, Spidey!”

Suddenly heaving its body to the side, the creature twisted and slammed Spider-Man against the ground. The large, luminescent eyes on the sides of its head burned red, and it began thrashing him with twisting limbs as he lay dazed on the concrete.

_Oh he’s done it now._

**Nobody beats on our Spidey like that!**

A blind rage crawled through Deadpool’s brain, overtaking every thought and action. Nothing would get through, not Peter’s shout, not Strange’s wild gesticulating. He let out a battle cry and launched himself at the monster’s head, blades flashing with multiple colors from the magic and the monster’s eyes. One of them he drove into an eye, and the other went into its neck. Strange was in a panic. Deadpool was lost, the only thought he had was to protect Spider-Man from this awful thing.

_Spidey is stronger than we are, he doesn’t need protection._

**He can’t heal like we can!**

“Yaaaaaarrgghh!!” Deadpool screamed and twisted his katana with grinding and popping sounds, while the air around them vibrated with the monster’s shrieking and wailing. Blood gushed out over his arms, splashed on his mask, soaked under his belt. It was disgusting.

The creature began to thrash harder, and it whipped its head around. Spider-Man got up off the ground and jumped up to join Deadpool, but grabbed his arm.

“Come on! Enough!”

It was too late. One last thrash, and Deadpool was clinging to his other sword to stay on, which drew it down the creature’s neck. Doctor Strange swore and shouted, but Deadpool didn’t hear him properly. A distortion in reality burst from the creature’s body as its death cries pierced the air, surrounding the two.

Wade felt his stomach lurch, and sparks flew in his vision as he felt yanked in a direction that should not exist.

**Ooo, dimensional travel.**

_Aw man I hate this shit. And we don’t have our swords!_

As the universe shredded and spun around them, somehow Wade's hand found Peter's, and they clasped fingers together. After an eternity that lasted but a moment, a brightness assaulted them from all around, and a roar filled the non-space through which they sped. 

There was a pop, and a snap, and then the two of them landed in a heap together on a dusty surface. Wade was, fortunately or not, on the bottom of the pile with Peter sprawled on top of him. He groaned and tried to get up, but something was wrong and he couldn't move. Maybe that snap had been something important. 

_Broke your spine, maybe._

**That's ok, we'll be fine!**

“Ugh, my aching back,” Wade said. It was uncomfortable, but not anything that hadn't happened to him a hundred times before. 

“Oh, god, Wade, are you okay?” Peter rolled off him quickly and turned to put his hands on Wade's face. 

Wade lifted an arm to the sky, which was a lovely shade of violet. “It's all… going dark… Auntie Em…”

“Shut up. I heard a noise, was that your back??” Peter's voice was full of concern, which Wade thought was sweet. 

“It's just got a case of the being brokens. I'll be fine,” Wade croaked. He felt sharp stabs of pain as his spine and nerves knitted together. 

Peter frowned down at him, then turned his gaze to the landscape around them. Sparse bluish green vegetation popped up through dry ground underneath that violet sky. A string of mountains darkened the sky off to what looked like the south, judging from where the sun was in the sky. 

On the other hand, there was really no way to gauge that at all. No way to know what kind of rules this dimension worked by. 

“Were definitely not in Kansas anymore, Toto,” Peter said. Slumping to the ground, he reached out to offer his lap to Wade to rest against. “Come here, we can afford to rest here until your back heals. How long will that take?”

Wade groaned. “Just a couple minutes. It's not that bad.” Peter didn't seem to mind that Wade was drenched in alien monster blood. Maybe because it didn't smell bad. 

“Not that bad, he says,” grumbled Peter, helping Wade into his arms. Brushing his fingers back over Wade's head, he bent to kiss him on the forehead through the masks. “You're an idiot. We're both idiots. You didn't hear what Strange said just before we zapped over here, did you.”

The affectionate gesture buzzed through Wade's brain, tingling and spreading warmth in his chest. He reached back to touch Peter's arm. “No, he's a pompous windbag and that monster was hurting you. That's all I cared about.”

Peter let out a weary sigh and dragged his mask off his face. “He said he was in _negotiation_ with that thing. I really wish you hadn't killed it. That's what got us here.”

Wade stiffened. “Are you _mad_ at me? For killing a giant scary Cthulhu beast that was beating you around like a rag doll?”

“Well if you had any _restraint_ , we'd still be at home!” Peter ran his fingers back through his sweaty hair, scowling. 

“Oh, if _I_ had restraint? I seem to recall _you_ were pounding on the thing too! I admit I'm impulsive, but I'll be damned if you blame all this on me!” It was still impossible to get up, so Wade crossed his arms and glared at the horizon. 

“Ugh. I don't want to argue right now,” Peter said. “We have to figure out how to get home.”

“All right, we'll argue later. Cool,” Wade said. 

**Don't be an ass. This is a brand new relationship! Don't screw it up already!**

_Excuse me, who is accusing us of being responsible for this predicament?_

“Guys, quiet, I don't need your shit right now.” Wade knocked a fist against the side of his head, until Peter took his wrist and stopped him. 

“Wade, don't.” Peter held him closer. “We’ll get out of this.”

“Your confidence is inspiring,” Wade said drolly. 

“And you're exhausting. You're lucky I love you so much.”

That got Wade choked up a little. He wasn't used to hearing it, so he didn't know what to say. The voices in his head didn't offer up any brilliant suggestions either. 

But… it was nice to lie there with Peter while he healed. Even if they were in some weird dimension, and his suit was getting crusty with green blood. 

\----------

“Are we there yet?” Wade groaned, dragging his feet across the ground. Puffs of dust drifted up behind him from the soil he disturbed.

Peter shot him a Look which he clearly saw because Peter’s mask was tucked into his belt. “We’ve only been walking for an hour. We don’t even _know_ where we’re going, just.” He waved his hands towards the mountains, which was the only direction that looked like it had any vegetation or capacity to support life. “If we don’t find something that way, then someone will find a way to get us back. And we’re most likely to find food and water that way.” He glanced behind them. “Since it looks like miles and miles of hot desert behind us.”

“ _An hour_ ,” Wade gasped, dragging his fingers down his mask. “I never _ever_ walk any further than I have to! Most of the time that distance is between my couch and the fridge!”

“It is absolutely phenomenal how you keep a trim figure living like that.”

“Heh heh, I know, right?”

Peter slapped a hand to his face. “Look, the terrain is already getting more interesting. Stop complaining.”

“Never took you for an optimist,” Wade said.

“I’m _not_ ,” Peter said. “I’m just used to being the only one complaining. God I hope I don’t sound as annoying as you do right now.”

“Ha!” Wade barked a laugh, pointing a finger at him. “I knew it!”

“Seriously, can we _not_ right now?” Peter looked over towards the sun, which was climbing higher in the sky. A second sun looked like it was beginning to peek over the horizon. “It’s getting so hot here I feel like I’m going to barf. Let’s just spend our energy walking and not talking. We need to get to that shade.”

“Baby boy, I am the _Merc With The Mouth_ ™. You cannot just tell me to ‘stop talking’.”

“Fine. You keep flapping your gums, I’ll focus on navigating,” Peter grumbled.

Wade took off his mask and draped an arm over Peter’s shoulders, leaning in to kiss his ear. “See? Team work! We’re going to have the _best_ relationship.”

Peter didn’t shrug him off, which was a good sign. 

“Convenient that we’ve had these tracks to follow, though,” Wade said, tilting his head and studying the ground ahead.

Wiping sweat from under his eyes, Peter’s brow furrowed as he looked. “Tracks? What tracks?”

“You aren’t seeing these tracks?”

“No, Wade, I don’t see any tracks.”

“Huh. Maybe it’s just wind erosion.”

“Since when do you know anything about wind erosion?”

“I know stuff!”

“I guess we don’t know what kind of animals might live here. Or what kind of vehicles any possible sentient life might use.” Peter scratched the back of his head, stopping to study the ground ahead.

Tugging on his arm, Wade urged him forward again. “You’re right, Pete, we gotta just keep walking.” The suns were making him sweat, which stung the sores on his skin and made them hurt more than they usually did. The possibility of finding shade and water in the foothills ahead was very attractive.

Another hour passed, and the pair were making definite progress towards more hospitable lands. Wade noticed those odd tracks off and on again, but it could be the heat getting to him, so he didn’t mention them. Besides, he was too preoccupied with the sight of what looked like a small body of water they were approaching at the base of a small cliff. There were actual shrubs and tall grasses and what looked like trees. If trees had stringy yellow trunks and bulbous blue tops.

“That’s it, I know I’m dead.” Peter said in a flat voice. “I’ve died and woken up in a Doctor Seuss book.”

“Think if we cut down one of those trees we’ll find the Lorax?”

“Nothing would surprise me at this point.” Peter lifted a hand to shield his eyes from the sun.

Wade licked his lips, staring at the little lake ahead of them. “I am going to swim all up in that water. I’m dying of thirst, Pete.”

“Hey, we don’t even know if it’s real water. It could be--”

“Are you _kidding me_? Of course it’s real water!” Wade threw his arms in the air. “If it weren’t real water, we wouldn’t be able to breathe this air!”

“I guess you’ve got a point, but--and he’s gone.” Peter sighed after Wade as he seemed to find a burst of energy and galloped on ahead towards the lake, kicking up clods of dirt behind him.

Pushing through tall grass, with the sounds of strange insects in his ears, Wade fell to his knees at the water’s edge. The grass along the shore was surprisingly flattened out, but he was more interested in putting his entire head into the water to wash and cool off than solving that mystery. At least the water smelled okay, and it tasted fine, so he just dropped his jaw and sucked the water right up with his face half submerged.

Jogging up beside him, Peter reached down and grabbed the collar of his uniform and yanked him back up out of the water. “Jesus, Wade. You don’t know what might be living in that water.”

“I am _so thirsty_ ,” Wade sobbed.

“Don’t just shove your head in. If something bites it off, I am _not_ jumping in to fish it out.”

“Oh, so now I see how much I _truly_ mean to you.” Wade slapped a wet hand dramatically to his chest.

Shaking his head, Peter pulled his gloves off and scooped some water up into his hands. He sniffed it, and stuck his tongue out experimentally. “Seems fine to me.”

“All right then!” Without warning, Wade lurched to his feet and dashed right into the water, the depth quickly sinking to where he was swimming. “Ahhhh feels good man! I hate the desert!”

Peter’s spider-sense screamed, tingling across his scalp. “Wade! Look out!”

From the depths of the lake, just behind Wade, a dark form burst forth from the water. It was big, with regular ridges running back from a pointed head, mottled skin, big round eyes… And two large, prehensile arms that whipped out to encircle Wade and lift him up.

Wade was screaming and flailing around, useless with no guns or katanas.

“Wade!” Peter shouted. On instinct, he shot out a webline towards the beast. Another arm--tentacle, really--appeared from the water and grabbed it, yanking him closer. Before he could regroup, it had him wrapped up just as well as it did Wade.

The head came closer, and two slits on what looked like its nose widened and huffed at Wade. At the blood stains in his uniform from the other monster. Which, as it happened, bore a striking resemblance to this one.

“I told you! I fucking told you, Wade!” Peter yelled.

In a voice deep, watery, and angry, the creature spoke. It actually _spoke_.

“ _Where… where is my husband??_ ”

“Oh, fuck,” Wade said.


	2. Who's First?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip into another dimension gets freaky, and the author finally makes good on the fic's tags.

The arm--Peter really didn't want to think the word “tentacle”--hung in front of his face, dark and heavy, still dripping wet from the water of the lake. It didn't smell bad. It smelled more like a plant than something that lived underwater. Then again, Uheni was obviously amphibious, since apparently Wade had been right about seeing tracks out in the desert. Peter should have listened. He cared about Wade, but maybe he still wasn't totally taking him seriously. 

It was hard to take him seriously right then, when he had a big fat tentacle lodged in his mouth and was sucking down on it like it was the best thing ever. 

This was so far outside of Peter's comfort zone, he didn't know what to think. After the agreement had been made, he’d gone into a sort of shock. Now, he swallowed back the lump in his throat, and reached out to touch the appendage in front of him. It looked darker in the dim light of the cave, where the best source of illumination was bundles of phosphorescent lichen. He looked over at Wade again. Dribbles of thick, clear goo leaked out the corners of his mouth and ran down his chin. He had both hands wrapped around the arm, eyes closed, moaning a little.

That man really had no qualms about anything, did he. He’d gone right for the offered tentacle and suckled its nutrient fluid without a second thought.

Somehow Wade could tell Peter was hesitating, because he peeked his eyes open and looked over at him. Pulling off the tentacle with a _pop_ , he licked his lips and grinned. A dribble of goo hung between his lips and the little opening at the end of the monster’s arm for a moment before it snapped. 

“Come on, Pete. It's not bad!” The tentacle wiggled a little, and Wade gave it a few long licks. “Tastes better than dick! Kind of like salted caramel.”

Peter tried not to let himself get queasy. “I've never tasted dick.”

Wade sniffed. “You were planning on it, though, right?”

“Well, er,” Peter's face grew hot as the image of Wade sprawled naked in bed with his dick in Peter's mouth popped into his head. Of course he’d been planning on it. He wanted to do _all kinds_ of things with Wade. That just… had not included a three way with some sentient interdimensional beast. “Yeah, eventually.”

“Well okay, you prude, just think of this as practice or something.”

That made Peter's face redder. “Come on, I _love_ sex. Furthermore, Mary Jane and I had a _very_ active and creative sex life before the divorce.” He paused. “And… a few times after.”

“Oh ho! We got us a stud here! So why don't you get over your speciesism and indulge the lady Uheni here. You do want to get home, right?”

“ _Speciesism_ ,” Peter snorted. “Swear to god, Wade…”

But Wade wasn't listening anymore. He'd gone back to slurping on the tentacle. Peter took a deep breath and returned his attention to the one being offered to him. 

_Just… think of it like a weird novelty drink_ , Peter thought.   _You've been off planet with the Fantastic Four before and eaten weird things. Suck it up, Parker. … ugh, literally._

Sliding his fingers over the pebbly texture of the skin, he closed his eyes and leaned forward. The tip of the arm, like a wet tongue, stroked at his lips gently until he opened his mouth. The softness and the dexterity of it, when the arm itself was huge and thick where it attached to the creature’s body, amazed him. When the end of it began stroking his tongue, swirling around the inside of his mouth, he had to fight back another twinge of revulsion. Not because of the taste or texture, but the whole idea of it, and the image in his head of a squid or something trying to crawl its way into his brain.

_Weird alien food. That's all it is. Weird alien food. People eat deer penises and rocky mountain oysters and raw octopuses, and this is a hell of a lot better than that._

Placing both hands on the arm, he sealed his lips around the tip. It pushed in and filled his mouth completely. He made a strangled noise as it started to pulse in and out, rubbing against his tongue, barely nudging the back of his throat. He had to remember what Wade said. _Practice._

Odd sort of practice. 

He held the arm tighter, needing something solid to lean on while he knelt on the mossy cave floor. It started moving faster, slipping all over in his mouth, and then he felt it quiver just before a stream of hot liquid hit the back of his tongue. 

“Mmgh!” He swallowed instinctively, the taste overwhelming his senses. Taste, smell, touch, it all focused on this creature in his mouth and the fluid being fed to him. It was not quite like salted caramel, but it was close enough that Wade hadn’t been lying. And it was thick, easy to swallow. Still, he resisted at first without meaning to, and it spilled over his chin, running down his neck and into the fabric of his costume. With another gurgle, he winced and forced himself to drink it down. 

“Damn, Pete, you look so hot right now,” Wade said right next to him. Peter nearly choked, startled, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. “Hey hey, breathe through your nose babe.”

There wasn't any other choice, so Peter did his best. “Nng.” Throat bobbing, tongue working, he swallowed more and more of the goo. This… was not… awful. Gross, but not... awful. 

He opened his eyes again when he felt a touch in his hair. Initially he thought it was Wade, but he raised his eyes and saw the mons--Uheni gazing down at him with one of her big eyes. A myriad of colors flashed through the iris, mesmerizing. One of her other arms was stroking his hair back from his face, brushing over his cheek with amazing tenderness.

He started to pull away to speak, but the free arm curled behind his head and held him firm. “Mmgh!”

“ _More. Little more.”_

He already felt so full. He'd been swallowing and swallowing and his belly was already starting to swell. He didn't think he could take any more, but it kept coming.

A warmth covered his back as Wade sat behind him, wrapping his arms around Peter's waist. Scarred palms brushed up under his shirt and caressed his abs, soothing. “It's ok baby boy, she won't hurt you.”

“Mm _mmm_ mfff mrm nngh!” Peter protested, more liquid oozing out his mouth. As weird as this was, Wade’s touches were going right to his dick, making him immediately half hard.

Then the arm was gone, slipped away from him suddenly. Peter coughed, and Wade gave him a few solid slaps on the back until Peter waved him away. “I’m fine. _I’m fine_ ,” he insisted. The taste was all over his mouth. He opted to wipe his sleeve over his face rather than lick it up.

With a splash, Uheni disappeared into the dark water. So sleek was her passage, there were no ripples on the surface after she left. Peter blinked at her sudden departure, and shrugged away from Wade to get to his feet.

“Wonder where she’s off to.” Peter put a hand to his mouth. “I feel like I drank a gallon of warm ice cream.”

“Mmm, ice cream,” Wade said.

“This doesn’t completely, utterly, _fundamentally_ bother you at all?” Peter said, heading away from the water. The far end of the cave was drier and warmer, and he was feeling a sudden chill. They should figure out how to get some sort of fire going.

The amenities in this place were awful. Nonexistent, actually. He and Wade were going to have to camp out with what resources they had to hand. Which was basically just the moss, lichen, and whatever they could scrounge up outside the cave. As for the toilet… That was way, way in the back of the cave, in one of the smaller caverns, and was just a giant hole in the ground.

Peter was not looking forward to the time he’d be spending there.

The only bonus to the place was a hot spring in a cavern near the front. It was clean water to bathe in while they’d be staying there.

Climbing up onto a ledge in the dry area of the cave, Peter slumped down in the pile of moss that had already been arranged before they’d even gotten there. He didn’t care that it was a monster nest, it was the only comfortable spot. He wanted to be comfortable while waiting for… what was coming.

Wade joined him, settling in against him and patting his stomach. “You know, if we could bottle this stuff up and sell it as a meal replacement, we’d make _tons_ of money.”

“Uck! That’s nasty! We really don’t even know exactly what the hell is in that stuff!” Peter made a face. Yes, it was supposed to be food, for him and Wade and… etcetera, and it wasn't toxic, but it could have completely unexpected properties they'd have to deal with. 

“Or, you know, we could market it as a replacement for that crap you have to drink before a colonoscopy.” Wade leaned back against the moss, folding his hands behind his head and crossing his legs. “Tastes better, does the same thing! Gonna be all squeaky clean inside!”

“Don’t remind me.” Peter scowled. “How did we end up agreeing to this?”

“Ah, baby boy, let me tell you!” Wade said. “I remember it like it was yesterday.”

“Wade. It was two hours ago.”

“I remember it so clearly…”

\---------

Two hours ago:

Wade thrashed in the grip of the giant tentacle, while the monster’s eye glared red at him. “Look, giant tentacle seahorse... person…”

“ _I AM UHENI._ ”

“Uhhh, is that your name, or your species?”

“ _Yes_.” The arm shook him violently. “ _You smell of my husband. Where he?”_

“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!” Wade gasped with each shake, not even trying to reply.

Peter pushed and shoved against the thick arm, which was wrapped several times around his torso, but he didn’t have good leverage. He didn’t want to hurt the thing, either, in case something even worse happened than when they’d killed the other one. “Look, I’m very sorry to tell you… your husband is dead.”

The creature screamed, a worse noise than its mate had made in Central Park, if that were possible. Peter and Wade followed with their own screams as the arms tightened around them. Wade’s ribs popped, and Peter strained his muscles to keep his structural integrity intact.

“ _No! Bad little things!”_

A high, keening noise erupted from the monster’s mouth, beak, nozzle, whatever, and it sank back into the water, though still holding Peter and Wade aloft.

“Uh, monster lady?” Wade tapped his knuckles against the tentacle around him. “Lady… Uheni… I’m sorry. I’m _really_ sorry. We made a mistake--”

“ _We?_ ” Peter said. He was still squirming, working on getting leverage so he could pry the arm off of him. “You’re the one who--!”

“Shh!” Wade hissed, waving an arm at him in a cutting motion.

“Ugh!” Peter folded his arms and held still, glaring at Wade. He was still determined _not_ to get eaten by a tentacle monster, even if they _had_ killed the other one by mistake and now this one was mad at him.

His ire drained quickly as he realized that the creature was still making noises under the water. Was it… crying? He was frustrated with Wade, because Wade killing the other one was the reason they were stuck here, but he hadn’t given a whole lot of thought to the creature itself. There’d been no indication that it actually possessed sentience, aside from those last words he’d heard Strange shout about negotiating with it. Now they were in this other dimension, being attacked by another tentacle monster, and it was crying.

Peter felt awful. The familiar sickness of guilt was crawling through his gut, and he couldn’t begin to think of what to say that might help ameliorate the situation.

Maybe Peter didn’t know what to do, but Wade seemed to have an idea. “There, there,” he was saying, stroking the arm. “We’re very sorry, miss Uheni. It was an accident.”

Whether Wade was getting through to the monster, who was still hiding underwater, Peter was starting to make headway in freeing himself from its grip, so he let Wade keep talking.

“Sweet Uheni, lovely lady of the lake,” Wade took the loose end of the tentacle and… actually _kissed_ it. Peter stared at him, jaw dropping. Wade didn’t seem to notice and kept talking. “What can we do to ease your sorrows?”

That giant head crested the water again, and a flash of yellow ran through the eyes. It snorted out its nostrils at Wade and pulled him closer to its face. Another arm rose and stroked down his face, trailing over his chest to rub circles around his midriff.

“ _Why kill?_ ”

Peter wondered why they were able to even understand the thing. The other one certainly hadn’t been making any comprehensible noises beyond screams.

“He was beating up my boyfriend and I got mad.” Wade jerked a thumb towards Peter. “I’m really sorry.”

The tentacle rubbing Wade’s belly slipped under the edge of his shirt and stroked his skin. Wade gasped and squealed a little. “Hey, I’m ticklish!”

“ _Soft, warm, dry_. _Empty_.”

“I guess so?” Wade glanced over at Peter, who shrugged. The only emptiness was in Wade’s head. “I haven’t eaten in a few hours.”

“ _You ask to help. I tell. Need husband, husband carry eggs. Need **now**._ _You two, you be husband._ ”

Peter nearly swallowed his tongue. “No. Oohhhh no! No way! Absolutely _no way!_ There is no way! I take it back, you can eat me instead!”

Those big eyes turned red again, and the arm around him tightened once more. The monster rose higher out of the water and reared its head closer to him.

“ _YOU KILL HUSBAND! I NEED! BABIES DIE!_ ”

“Come on, Pete, let’s hear her out!”

Peter made a strangled noise against the compression on his diaphragm. “I don’t want to be an incubator! Haven’t you seen the Alien movies?! There is no way this ends well!!”

The creature growled, shook its head, and ducked under water long enough to get a mouthful to douse over Peter’s head, making him cough and sputter.

“ _You be husband, I send home._ ”

“Okay,” Wade said. “We are definitely listening.”

\---------

“Wade!” Peter shoved him. “I _remember_ how it happened. It was a goddamn rhetorical question.”

Wade sniffed and folded his arms. “Well, you should have said so.”

Peter groaned and covered his face with his hands. “I hate this so much.”

“Aw, come on.” Wade rolled onto him, smoothing scarred hands up over his chest and straddling his hips to pin him gently against the moss. Leaning down, he licked at Peter’s throat, sucking a few kisses into his skin. “It won’t be bad. You’re getting a free colon cleanse, and a free vacation! A whole nine days, just the two of us, and we’ll only miss one day at home!”

“Free?” Peter raised an eyebrow and twisted his lips. “This won’t be free. This won’t be free at all. And I don’t need a colon cleanse. My colon is just fine.”

“We _did_ murder her husband in cold blood.”

Peter groaned and dropped his head back. “I know. I… I know.” He sighed, and draped an arm over his face. “But this is _not_ going to be a vacation. We can’t even get out of this cave without that thing carrying us. The underwater tunnel is too long. I can’t hold my breath long enough to swim it.”

“We’re not _trapped_ here, Pete. It’s just safest. You remember what she said about the predators that come out at night?”

Whether Peter wanted to admit it or not, Wade was right. There were worse things than… what… they were going to do. And as far as giant monsters went, she wasn’t… so bad. She hadn’t tried to kill them after learning what they’d done, even if she’d been distinctly unhappy about it. That was pretty fair of her. In her position, Peter was pretty sure he would have gone completely ballistic.

“Hey. Hey, Pete.”

Sighing, Peter looked up at Wade, still hovering above him. “What.”

Pressing a hand to Peter’s chest, Wade kissed him. He bit his lip, sucked on it, then they locked together for a few long moments, the kiss intensifying until it was all panting breaths and roaming hands. Peter clung to Wade, feeling a little odd, but also feeling _really_ good. While Wade lay on top of him, he felt himself growing hard.

Finally they broke apart, and Peter gasped.

“Let’s just enjoy the opportunity, eh?” Wade said. “No interruptions! No bosses screaming at you! No rush hour Midtown traffic!”

He was smirking, but underneath it Peter could see something else. Something a little more vulnerable, a little more uncertain. Peter had confessed that he cared about Wade, had said that he loved him, and it was true, but… something was wrong, and Peter didn’t know how to ask what it was.

Forcing himself to relax a little, Peter nodded. “All right. I’ll _try_ to… think of it as a… vacation… a weird _freaky_ vacation where I get an ass full of alien eggs.”

Wade grinned. “That’s the spirit!”

“Now we just--” Peter stopped. His eyes went wide, and a noisy gurgle erupted from his gut. He shoved Wade aside. “Okay-get-off-me-I’ll-be-right-back!”

Laughing, Wade waved after him. “Go lightly, my friend!”

“AARRGH I HATE YOU!!”

\---------

They were at the edge of the water. Wade was on a little ledge, his boots off, kicking his bare feet and making splashes, leaning back on his hands and singing to himself. Peter’s nerves were wound tight, and he couldn’t help being resentful of the fact that Wade was clearly feeling the opposite. Peter was practically crawling out of his skin where he sat cross-legged, elbows propped on his knees.

“I think I’m going to die of mortification before we even get home,” he said. “I can’t do this.”

Wade frowned at him and his feet stilled. Turning, he made his way over to sit next to Peter and put out a hand to rub his back. “Hey, look, Uheni’s got sonar, right? She said our bodies can handle this fine. We did kill her husband.”

“I know!!” Peter dug his fingers into his face, not at all reassured. Wade had killed her husband, and Peter resented feeling guilty about it. 

“Peter…”

Too wound up, Peter snapped, “What?”

“If it bothers you so much, if you really can't do it, I'll take them all.”

All the eggs? Peter gulped. That was too many. Uheni had said that they were both needed for the number of eggs she had ready to deposit, requiring the warmer body of the males of her species. Humans happened to have a warmer temperature. But taking all of them would hurt more than anything. “Are you crazy? They'd rip you apart!”

Wade shrugged. “I've been ripped apart before.” It was said casually, but there was a tightness at the corner of his eyes that didn't escape Peter's notice. It made him ache, being reminded of how much suffering Wade had been through in his life. 

Maybe it was Wade's fault they were there in the first place, but he definitely didn't deserve that. Peter couldn't possibly sit by and watch Wade suffer for days and days only for the sake of appeasing Peter's squeamishness. The fact that Wade was even willing to do that for him...

“No,” Peter said, touching Wade's cheek and turning him so they were face to face. “I'm not gonna let you do that.”

“Phew!” Wade's relief was immediate and palpable. “Thank god. Don't get me wrong, I'd do anything for you, Pete, but I wasn't looking forward to that.”

“ _I would **not**.” _ Uheni’s dark head crested the water a moment after her voice rippled through the cave, drawing the boys’ attention. Long twisting arms curled up to the surface, and she pulled herself halfway up the little shore. 

“Hi sweetie!” Wade grinned up at her. “We were wondering when you'd be back!”

The creature looked between them. “ ** _No_** _hurt.”_

“That's very considerate of you, ma'am,” Wade nodded. He looked to Peter, and leaned over to kiss him, running fingers through his hair. Peter sighed into the kiss, enjoying the affection. “On the note of consideration,” Wade continued, pulling away to stand and face the monster. “I volunteer to go first.”

Uheni was silent for a few moments. Her alien body language was impossible for Peter to decipher, so he didn't know what that meant. He was tense, waiting for her response. 

A tentacle slithered out of the water and stroked over the fabric of Wade's suit on his belly. Then it twisted and approached Peter, settling in to push on his abdomen. He swallowed hard, feeling a mild pulsing from the heavy appendage. Was that her sonar again? That was so freaky. 

“ _No. He first. You mate?_ ”

“No--”

“Yes--” Wade spoke at the same time as Peter. 

“ _If you first, then you sleep. He hard. If he first, you make soft._ ”

“Huh?” Peter frowned, perplexed. Sure, this thing was sentient, but however it was communicating with them had some grammatical limitations. 

“I think that what she's going to do is either going to knock us out or wear us out, and you're too tense so she wants me to relax you. Which I need to be awake for.” Wade twirled a finger in Peter's hair while he spoke, tucking it back behind his ear. 

“Oh.”

Before this whole ordeal, Peter had envisioned that his first time with Wade would be more intimate and more comfortable. Not even candles and a nice dinner, but he’d been _planning_ on throwing Wade down, ripping his clothes off, and then fucking him senseless.

A threesome with… this _thing_ … was not his ideal first date.

One awkward discussion of logistics and philosophy later, and Peter was perched on his hands and knees over Wade in the mossy area of the cave, the creature--Wade kept reminding him that her name was _Uheni_ \--somewhere behind and out of sight. They kissed for a few long minutes, warming up and relaxing, hands roaming all over each other. Wade was very good at finding the places that Peter liked to be touched, and Peter soon had an aching erection. One which Wade was refusing to touch.

“Let’s get you undressed,” Wade murmured against Peter’s ear, stroking fingers down Peter’s chest and pinching a nipple through the spandex.

Peter swallowed and nodded. This was better, having Wade there with him. These sorts of touches, he was used to. He quickly pulled his shirt off, tossing it aside where it’d stay relatively clean and dry.

He heard a hitching breath, and looked down to see Wade gazing at him in adoration. “You’re gorgeous, Pete.”

“You’re not so bad yourself, Muscles,” Peter said, trailing a palm down Wade’s solid abs. He bit his lip when Wade’s fingers slipped under the edge of his pants and moved back to caress and knead his ass.

Then Peter jumped when he felt one of Uheni’s arms on his back. It was a little cold, but as it rubbed over his skin, the texture did feel kind of nice, he reluctantly admitted to himself. It was still unnerving.

While his mouth was twisted in uncertainty, Wade caught him in another kiss, sliding a hand around front and taking his erection firmly in hand. It felt _good_. Peter moaned into Wade’s mouth as a shiver of pleasure shot through him and his hips bucked. Wade’s other hand went into Peter’s hair and he held him tight, kissing and stroking with equal enthusiasm. It made Peter hardly notice when the tentacle pulled his pants down to his knees, where they got stuck against Wade’s hips.

He did notice when another one wrapped around his midsection and lifted him up so that the pants could come off. He heard them fall to the ground near where he’d tossed his shirt. Before he could react, Wade clung to him harder, and rubbed his thumb over the head of Peter’s cock, slippery with precome. Peter moaned.

“Pete, you’re good, I got you,” Wade said.

Still apprehensive--because of course he would be--Peter clung to Wade’s shoulders and squeezed his eyes shut as the tentacle started stroking gently between his cheeks. “This is--” he swallowed hard, “not…”

“Come on, look at me,” Wade said. It seemed sensible, maybe looking at Wade’s face would help him focus, so Peter complied. “I was married to an alien once,” Wade continued.

Peter blinked. “You’re shitting me.” He felt more touches on his thighs, but didn’t want to think about how many tentacles were touching him now.

Wade shook his head. “Nope. Her name was Orksa. She was a _big_ girl. Four eyes, crabby pincers for hands.”

“How did--” Peter gasped when Wade changed the grip on his cock, causing new sensations paired with a sudden slippery touch on his hole.

“Carefully, baby boy. Carefully.” Once again, Wade brought their mouths together, and didn’t say anything else while he jerked Peter’s cock and teased the slit.

Relax. Just relax. Peter did his best to focus on Wade, the kissing and the touch on his dick, but it was hard with Uheni’s arms wrapped around his waist and his thighs. The thin end of one of the tentacles probed his ass, smearing goo as it circled the ring of muscle, caressing. Despite his trepidation, combined with the hand job it… felt good.

Peter buried his face against Wade’s neck as the tentacle pushed further. It was long and tapered enough, or it could be shaped to be that way, that it was stretching him out perfectly.

“Oh god,” he said, legs quivering. Wade stroked his hair, and he took long deep breaths, conflicting feelings running through him. “Ah!” He gasped when the tentacle thrust into him harder. The stretch was good, but it was alarming. Liquid squeezed out of him around the tentacle, running down his thigh. It was slicking him up with more of that shit that he’d had to guzzle earlier. He could smell the sweetness.

Wade wrapped an arm around him. “Hey, I’ve got an idea. Do you trust me?”

Peter was quivering, but he nodded. “Y-yeah,” he managed to say.

The tentacles retreated as Wade rolled them over, and then crawled around so that he was kneeling by Peter’s head, and Peter’s flagging erection was right by his mouth. Peter wrapped his arms around Wade’s thighs, scratching his fingers lightly over the fabric of his uniform.

“You’re gonna like this, babe, I guarantee,” Wade said. Without a moment to spare, he opened his mouth to engulf Peter’s cock, and Peter cried out in pleasure, canting his hips.

“Fuck, yes,” Peter gasped. He swore again when the tentacle penetrated him again, but Wade was exceptionally skilled with his mouth and tongue, chasing away Peter’s fear.

Then something changed, and sensation exploded through his core. The tentacle was thickening, muscles in the flesh bunching it into a ridged shape, and it was thrusting in and out of him faster as he relaxed, and the _way_ it was moving inside him was hitting his prostate with all that texture. The nerves lit up like a switchboard and Peter shouted, his legs kicking out involuntarily.

“Oh my god! Fuck!” He dug his fingers into Wade’s thighs, and Wade swirled his tongue in a way that had Peter shouting again. Tentacles wrapped around his legs, holding him spread and keeping him from bucking Wade off.

Uheni must have been paying very close attention to Peter’s reactions, and been motivated to make him feel good about what was happening. The moment she discovered that spot, the tentacle fucking him kept moving in different ways over it, giving him electric jolts that were at the same time pleasurable as they were almost too intense.

In, out. In, out. The tentacle pulsed in and out of him over and over again, while Wade worshiped his cock with his mouth. In, out, reducing Peter to whining moans and groans. He’d never felt anything like it in his life. He was hot all over, sticky with liquid blended with Wade’s saliva running down his skin. The tentacles twisted around his legs squirmed and wiggled, stroking his inner thighs.

Waves of pleasure washed over him. His body hardly felt like his own anymore, just an instrument for feeling. He was tingly in every fiber of his being, in the best way. In, out, in out, stretching him out to just this side of pain, where it only made the pleasure sharper.

Lost in sensation, Peter wished that Wade wasn’t still wearing all his clothes. While he gasped and whimpered, he tilted his head to put his mouth over the bulge in Wade’s pants, sucking on him through the fabric. He clung to Wade’s pants while Wade sucked on him and moaned, and the tentacle opened him up wider and deeper, his hips jerking. It was squirting more goo far into him, making the glide in and out of his body easy as anything, and the excess was oozing out down his crack.

Peter was overwhelmed. His body was on fire, and he’d never felt so much all-encompassing pleasure before. The tentacle was so deep in him now, but since it tapered he had no way of telling just how far. It felt so deep.

“ _Now, it is now._ ”

It wasn’t any mystery what Uheni meant. Peter licked and slurped harder on Wade’s cock through his pants, focusing _hard_ on Wade’s mouth still on him, as he felt something squeeze down along the tentacle. As it widened, it put pressure on his rim before it popped inside. Peter gasped and twitched as it forced its way deeper, pressing on his prostate as it went.

Fuck. _Fuck._ That shouldn’t feel so fucking good. It shouldn’t, but it _did_. Peter was going to come. It was building in him and he couldn’t fight it. He didn’t want to fight it. He _wanted_ it. He wanted it more than he’d wanted to come in his life.

Once the first egg was inside, another followed. Peter gasped aloud, back arching. His fingers dug into the moss under his back. Then there was another, and another, each one popping into him and making him cry out until he was so full he’d lost count. They rolled around inside him, continuing that amazing stretch he was becoming addicted to.

As the tentacle pulled out, rubbing over his prostate again, and Wade slurped on his cock, Peter finally crashed over the edge, screaming as he drowned in pleasure.

Then, as he’d been warned would happen, Peter passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks for reading this far! As a treat, here's some artwork to go with the first part of this chapter.
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> [Source.](https://indomitablydirty.tumblr.com/post/163803764950)
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> The next update will be a little slower in coming (hehehe) but it will be coming. Because then it's Wade's turn!
> 
> And yeah, maybe you were paying attention, they are going to be there for nine whole days. I wonder what's gonna happen in that time? ;)


	3. Wade's Turn

“Pete? Peter?” Wade pulled his mouth off of Peter’s dick, giving it a few licks to clean him off, thinking how great he tasted. Then Wade turned around to check on him. He’d gone alarmingly still, and Wade needed to know he was all right.

Face still flushed, body covered in a sheen of sweat and goo, Peter lay sprawled in the moss, completely passed out. His chest moved softly with his breathing, indicating that he was just fine. Uheni had told them that they’d sleep after, but Peter had passed out _hard_. Guess that’s what she meant by “sleep”. Also, Wade had to admit he looked pretty cute lying there, arms akimbo, legs sprawled. Fluids steadily oozed out of him, a swirl of white and transparent that dribbled into the moss.

Lordy lordy, if he didn’t want to slip his fingers into Spidey and feel him all wet and stretched out inside! But he’d wait for Peter to wake up for that.

Wade brushed Peter’s sweaty hair off his forehead, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. That had been amazing to be part of. He didn’t know how well Peter would have handled the event if Wade hadn’t helped, but at least he’d been able to enjoy himself. Not to mention what he’d done to Wade, lost in the moment.

A soft moan escaped Wade’s lips as he palmed his crotch, the fabric still damp with Peter’s saliva where he’d sucked on him through his pants. That had been so hot that it was the first thing Peter had done when he’d been overwhelmed. Out of anything else he could’ve done, that had been his first urge. It made Wade feel all warm and tingly in both sexual and non-sexual ways.

One of Uheni’s arms slipped up and stroked Peter’s belly. “ _He sleeps. Babies good._ ”

Nodding, Wade bent and lifted Peter into his arms. For all Peter's strength, he wasn't all that heavy, comparatively speaking. Wade hauled him up to the other end of the mossy nest and lay him down in the softest spot. He could almost see the faint outline of the eggs in Peter’s belly, and rubbed a hand over his skin gently to feel them rolling around in there. Man, Peter must feel delightfully full. Wade couldn’t wait for his turn.

Not wanting Peter to wake up naked and cold, Wade retrieved his costume and dressed him. Then he arranged him in a position that looked most comfortable, tucking moss around him, and gave him another kiss before he returned to Uheni at the water’s edge.

In the water, those dark arms swirled back and forth as Uheni watched him, her eyes glimmering as they peeked above the surface of the lake. Was she anticipating this as much as he was, or was this just normal for her? Certainly it seemed like she required some sort of stimulation to release her fluids and eggs.

“Well, sweetheart, it’s just you and me now,” Wade said. Lifting his hands to his uniform, he started on his buckles and his belt, each one clicking as they released. Peeling off his shirt, he tossed it aside, and onto that pile his belt and pants soon followed.

Sure, he didn’t need to be totally naked for this, but he didn’t see any reason not to be. It would be more fun this way. Besides, it wasn't as if there were anyone to impress here, with Peter dead to the world. Nobody would care about his scars and ugly skin.

Seeming to roll out of the water, with the way her limbs moved, Uheni approached him and slid two arms down his shoulders. He shivered as the air cooled against the wetness on his skin. A third arm traced a line down his torso, stretching out and narrowing until it was delicately tapered. Slowly, it wrapped around his still-hard cock. 

“ _You did to him, he liked._ ”

Wade bit his lower lip and nodded. “You bet your big pebbly ass he did.” When she started stroking and rubbing the hot flesh between his legs, he gasped and reached out to grab her arms. “Oh, yeah, _damn_ that’s nice.”

A dance of color rippled over Uheni’s skin: light greens and blues, looking like happy contented colors. Apparently she liked compliments. That was something that Wade could deliver on, and quite happily. It made him hope that Peter liked to be complimented, because he was going to shower his baby boy with more praise than he could handle. 

Grasping the tentacle curled over his right shoulder, Wade pulled it to his mouth and licked the underside of it, up to the tip. It was not one of her feeding arms, and didn't have an opening at the end. It was more like a delicate flipper. It trembled under his touch, and he watched the colors in her eyes change as he licked it more slowly. 

“You like that, huh Princess?” Wade grinned and slid his tongue along a crease in the bumpy skin, stroking the opposite side with his fingers. 

“ _Don't need to do that_.”

Wade planted a kiss on the arm. “Oh, I know I don't. But you liked it, yes?”

The body rippled in those contented colors again in response, and she came closer, curling more of her arms around him. Satisfied that that counted as a _yes_ , Wade moved his mouth further up the tentacle, closer to Uheni’s body. The touch on his cock intensified, spiraling up the length and teasing at the tip, making him moan and buck his hips. 

The end of it gently, oh so gently poked into the tiny slit, and Wade shouted as his knees went weak. Sensation shot through him, signals of pleasure-pain making his heart pound faster.

“Holy chimichangas!”

Reflexes almost as good as Peter's, several tentacles immediately slipped out to wrap around his middle and thighs to support him and keep him from falling. This lifted him off the ground in the process, and an arm came up to curl behind his head and neck as he lay back in the embrace and spread his thighs further. He wanted the gentle but firm touch everywhere. It felt so soothing on his skin, and he loved how curious she was showing herself to be. 

“Ohhhh fuck, miss monster, fucking _please_ do that again.” Wade had never seriously practiced sounding, but god damn did that feel electric to his dick. 

“ _You want?_ ”

“Hell yes! My baby boy probably wouldn't, but I sure do. If you--ohh!” He gasped and jerked his hips as he felt the touch again, amazed she could make her tentacle so thin, and that she could jerk on the rest of his cock at the same time with the same tentacle. 

Wade moaned, holding her arm to his mouth and lavishing it with attention while she worked on him, curious pinks and purples fluttering across her skin. It seemed that after she had deposited some of her eggs already, she didn't have to be in a huge hurry with the rest of them. Though he knew she'd have to fill him up sooner or later. He just wanted to enjoy some of this before he, too, passed out like Peter had. 

A thick arm pressed up against his backside, and he felt it slowly slide along his skin, back and forth, gradually moving closer to the thinner end. “Do we have to go so fast, honey? I'm loving this.” Still wet from the water, it was a little cold, but it almost felt like a big tongue licking him underneath. It was great.

“ _You like, yes? He like. Is good?”_

“Ohhh yeah, we humans are weird like that, but it's--aah!-- _so good._ ” Wade felt heat and pleasure building between his hips, and he thrust against the touches as he moaned. “Oh, baby, _fuck_ it’s good.”

The arm he’d been kissing slipped down in his grip again, making him whine at its loss, but she just used it to stroke his chest, firmly caressing him in a similar way to how Peter had done it. Observant girl, she was, and clearly eager to please. If he hadn’t already fallen for Spidey, he would very happily have asked Uheni to marry him on the spot.

He didn’t have to miss the arm very long. Another moved to replace it, slipping between his hands. On the end of it, he saw that it was one of the feeder arms. “Mmm, sweet candy ice cream!”

“ _You like milk._ ”

“Yes, it’s fa- _hah_ -antastic,” Wade said, voice broken as the tentacle pulled away from his cockhead and started stroking him faster, smearing precome and slime over his skin. Despite how slick it was, the tentacle had enough texture that there was still friction on his cock. It was a fantastic feeling he could float on for hours. 

Eagerly, Wade brought the end of the feeder arm to his mouth and licked at it, stroking with fingers and tongue before he pulled it into his mouth to suckle on the tender skin. It slipped easily past his lips, and he loved having something to hold onto and something to do with his mouth while the tentacle jerked him off below. It was the closest he’d come to kissing the big lady. Since her mouth was as big as his face and filled with, like, sharp teeth.

“ _Your skin dry._ ”

Wade didn’t want to open his mouth to agree, and wasn’t sure why she said that until a moment later when he felt slime coating his midsection. “Mmgh!” He closed his eyes and groaned, because somehow that felt really _really_ good, with all the arms wrapped around him. It encouraged him to work his tongue harder, wanting to stimulate the arm in his mouth to give him more of that yummy monster milk. 

The thick tentacles around his thighs curled around his legs further, until they were all the way down to his ankles, and around his arms he felt the touch of more of them. All sliding against his skin with more goo, or slime, or “milk”, or whatever the hell it was that felt so good on his scars. Though Uheni’s body temperature was lower than his, he was hot enough from arousal that it didn’t matter, it felt good. And she was wrapping him up all safe and snug, and he absolutely loved the attention being paid to him.

“ _Mmmm_ ,” he said in appreciation, heart pounding in his ears and a flush on his cheeks. This felt so good, he didn’t want it to end.

The arm that had been caressing his taint finally prodded at his hole, smearing around as his muscles fluttered, and he nodded enthusiastically. He wanted it. Peter, a back end newbie, had absolutely gone wild, and Wade actually started to salivate at the thought of experiencing that delight for himself.

Apparently Uheni had some very specific ideas on what she wanted to do. The tentacle, thin as a finger at the tip, and somehow both stronger and softer, pressed into him, slicking him up as it went. Instead of shoving deeper, it immediately sought around inside him. When it pressed over his prostate, his nerves lit up and he moaned, twitching in her grip. 

“ _There._ ”

_Clever girl!_

Sensation flooded through him when he felt the stroking touch right where he wanted it the most, and his hands squeezed the arm he held tighter involuntarily. The intense feeling rocked through him again as his mouth flooded with the sweet taste of alien goo. He swallowed as best as he could, over and over, breath coming stuttery through his nose as he struggled not to inhale the liquid.

Damn, he was having so much fun, and she'd hardly entered him yet. 

Wade was lost in a cloud of pleasure while Uheni stroked him inside and out, and the sweet liquid overflowed his mouth and gushed down his chin. He didn’t care. Electric heat was building low in his belly, his cock oozing precum over the tentacle stroking him. It didn’t stop, and he pulled off the flesh in his mouth to take in a deep breath just in time to shout as he came.

“Ah, yeah!”

The touch on his cock didn’t stop, and neither did the one on his prostate. Wade’s breath came out in little gasps, and the arms wrapped around his limbs tightened in a pleasant snugness. The overstimulation was intense, but he’d felt worse before, and his healing factor woke him up again soon enough under her ministrations.

Affectionately, Wade rubbed his face against the arm he still held, not caring if it smeared all over his face. That’s what the hot spring was for. But he wouldn’t be able to enjoy it if he passed out right away.

“Uheni, precious,” Wade said, interrupting himself with a sudden gasp. “Will you give me a bath when we’re done? I don’t want to get my sweetheart all filthy.”

An arm came up and stroked him across the face, rubbing over his cheek softly. Wade could have purred; he loved the feeling of being cared for so much.

“ _Yes_.”

Tugging on the feeder arm, Wade pulled himself towards Uheni’s body. She stopped pleasuring him while he drew himself closer in, watching him instead with curiosity. Her skin rippled in those colors he was really starting to love, and he grinned at her.

“I wanna snuggle close, baby,” he said. In response, she drew him in, and loosened her grip around his legs when he squirmed. Kicking his heels, he wrapped his legs around the thick base of her arm, and spread his hands over her skin, smoothing them up her huge torso.

“ _Good?_ ”

Wade squeezed her with his thighs and leaned forward, arching his back to make his ass more accessible. “Yeah, it’s good,” he said. “I’m ready when you are.”

The touch on his rim returned, and the laying tentacle pushed into him. He let out a deep sigh, running his fingers down her hide. The stretch was good, and she started working him like she had Peter, in and out, gradually deeper and thicker to stretch him out.

How long had it been since he’d had attention this great paid to his body? Wade couldn’t even say. With the intense touches inside, and the wonderful stretch, he felt himself growing hot all over again, a pleasant tingle in his limbs making his toes curl. Moaning, he pressed his hot, flushed face against Uheni’s cool skin, and rode her arm while she prepared him.

Wade felt so good, he didn’t even feel the need to keep up his usual commentary. Had Uheni taken this long to stretch Peter out? Maybe she had, and he’d been so wrapped up in it he didn’t notice? It was so much different, when he was feeling it inside himself, the texture of the tentacle stroking his inner walls and along his prostate, and deeper into him.

She pulled his legs further apart, and pulled his ass higher. He clung to her as well as he could, running his tongue over the arm he straddled, moaning into it when the tentacle inside him thickened and gave him the biggest stretch yet.

“Ah--yeah! Yeah, uhn, honey, that’s perfect, so good,” he said. “More, fuck, _more_.”

Uheni was very accommodating. Her tentacle bunched up inside him, thickening even more. He cried out and shuddered, and felt slime dribbling out the edges of his hole. She was slicking him up, making the going easier. Such a good, attentive seahorse monster.

Again, Wade begged for more, _wanting_ it, loving it. She questioned him, and he pleaded, and she finally did as he asked. He cried in pleasure as she did, and felt his stomach bulging outward as she thrust harder into him, filling him so full.

Wade’s breath came out in moans and whimpers, his hips bucking against each push inside as sensation rippled through him. This was perfect, so perfect. He had an oversized dildo at home, but that was nothing compared to the length and the feeling of Uheni’s arm, slippery and dexterous and perfect.

With his face against her skin, Wade could see the colors rippling in little waves just as she warned him that it was time for the eggs. He nodded, and he pleaded, the pleas falling from his lips almost automatically now because he was so overwhelmed with pleasure.

The tentacle stretched out deeper into him, tapering again now that he was stretched out, and another gush of slime filled his channel. Then he felt the first lump, and did his best to relax his muscle, but it wasn’t necessary. The tentacle held him open enough, and he gasped in delight when the egg popped into him. He felt it going deeper, deeper, pushing through until it reached the opening and slipped out.

His breath was coming out only in moans now, rocking his hips and shuddering again as each egg penetrated him. Unable to help himself, he reached down and took himself in hand, curling his fingers through the tentacle still wrapped around his cock, and began to pump his fist.

Just like with Peter, the eggs came one at a time, stretching him and bumping rhythmically against his prostate. He came, and kept jerking, and got himself hard again right away. By the time Uheni squeezed one last egg into him, and another spurt of fluid following that, he’d come two more times, his ears ringing and his whole body tingling with satisfaction.

Inside, he could feel them, all the eggs stuffing him up and feeling great. He would have to take the time to enjoy it later, though, because a warm wave of dizziness washed over him and he fell into darkness.

\------

When Peter woke, he was confused. It was dark, but not completely dark. There was a faint greenish glow coming from somewhere. It smelled funny, too; this was not the smell of sheets that needed to be washed because he hadn’t taken the time to haul his laundry to the laundromat. It was the smell of damp and moss. Added to that, his body ached, his ass was sore, and he felt _really_ full.

Still disoriented, he looked to his side, and found Wade curled up next to him. Fast asleep, snoring softly, he wasn’t wearing his mask, but other than that he was fully dressed aside from gloves and boots. Memory returned and Peter blushed hot, moving a hand immediately to his belly to feel the soft lumps there. He rolled over towards Wade, but the action made the lumps inside him shift. This made him gasp as the sensation shot straight into his chest and down to his groin.

Shit, that felt so _weird_. Good weird and bad weird at the same time, which made a confused nausea build in his stomach. Peter didn’t want to think about what he’d done, what had happened to him, because it was so far outside his experience. The only thing that kept him from turning over and throwing up was his determined reminder to himself that they’d helped kill an innocent, sentient being, and that these offspring would die if he didn’t suffer through this.

_Suffer_ , yeah, good word, when he wanted to barf at the same time his dick was getting hard from the memory of how good it had felt before he’d passed out. How something so gross could feel great like that, he didn’t know, and that fact bothered him.

Waking up more fully, he realized that he was still messy from the… the event. (He didn’t want to think “implantation” any more than he wanted to think “impregnation”.) There was the hot spring, he remembered, but he was loathe to get up and walk over there. It would mean feeling all those eggs moving around in his gut, and he felt odd enough as it was. If he didn’t get used to that feeling soon, he was going to be getting very frustrated by the time they were able to go home again.

Yeah, “frustrated”, that was another great word to use, with the confused, stubborn erection that wouldn’t go away.

With a soft groan, he rolled over onto his back again, draping an arm over his eyes. The feeling inside made him want to squirm, though it wasn’t painful, and he arched his hips in an attempt to relieve the slight pressure. A bit of a mistake, that, because it sent a spike of pleasure through him that made him gasp.

Biting his lower lip, Peter slipped a hand down past the waistband of his pants and gripped his cock, giving it a squeeze in an attempt to settle it down. He wiggled again, brows drawing together as a quiet groan slipped out of him. Dammit… dammit. He wasn’t used to this, and it was driving him crazy, but he didn’t want to jack off. It wasn’t fingers inside him, it wasn’t a dildo or Wade’s dick inside him like he’d wanted to try, it was something completely foreign. There were _living things_ growing inside him, and his imagination conjured up the imagery of miniature monsters crawling around his insides. Even though he knew they were safely contained in eggs, and that wouldn’t be happening, he couldn’t stop from picturing it.

Maybe a soak in the hot spring would help distract him from this. Otherwise he’d just be lying there writhing in the moss uncomfortably, waiting for Wade to wake up so that he would have someone to complain to. Lying back in the clean, steamy water was most likely worth trudging over there, so Peter put the effort into getting to his feet. It took him a couple of tries, until he was able to figure out how to do it with the least amount of stimulation zinging his dick.

Wade was still sleeping, and Peter didn’t want to wake him up, so he crept out of the nest as quietly as he could manage. Across the cave, towards the water that led to the outside tunnel, he saw no sign of Uheni, which was just as well. Talking to her was strange, and made Peter feel emotionally compromised in ways he didn’t like and couldn’t describe.

The floor of the cave was damp and slippery in-between the patches of moss and glowing lichen, and Peter picked his footing carefully. He could cling to any surface, sure, but when the surface he was clinging to was the thing that was moving around, he couldn’t do much about that. If he stepped on some moss and it detached from the stone, he could still slip. Better to be safe than sorry.

He didn’t _like_ having these eggs in him, but they were alive, vulnerable, and their mother had actually put huge trust in them to take care of them.

Considering. Y’know. Wade had killed their father.

So Peter was going to be careful with them while they were under his care, so to speak.

When he reached the hot spring, bubbling up in the corner into a small pool before it ran down into the larger body of water, Peter thought he saw something flashing in the lake out of the corner of his eye. Turning his head, he could see nothing in the dim light, but he stood there for a few minutes anyway, scanning the cave.

They were in a strange dimension. He knew nothing about this ecosystem. He didn’t even know what time of day it was. All he knew was that this cave was supposed to be safe. Maybe Uheni was out guarding the entrance. Maybe she was out hunting. With those sharp teeth of hers, and her powerful arms, she could catch and eat anything, probably.

“Get over it, Parker,” he muttered to himself.

Stepping to the edge of the steaming pool, Peter peeled out of his costume, and held it up in his arms as he stuck a toe in the water. It was just this side of too hot, which was just perfect. He could pretend it was a hot tub back home. If he tried really, really hard, and was able to ignore all the rest of the odd surroundings. And the lumps in his belly.

One step at a time, he descended into the water as he adjusted to the temperature, letting the heat melt away all his aches and pains and weird body feelings. Waist deep, he shoved his costume into the water so that it could soak and get clean.

Once he was in deep enough, Peter lay back and rested his head against the edge of the pool, just above the water. It felt so good, he could almost fall back asleep, though that wasn’t advisable to do in a hot spring. At least the feeling in his gut had settled down, and his arousal had faded away.

Peter might have fallen asleep anyway, because one moment he was shutting his eyes and focusing on the sound of softly running water, completely alone, and the next moment he was blinking up into Wade’s grinning face.

“Hello, handsome,” Wade said from his crouch right behind Peter’s head.

Peter managed a smile. “Hey yourself,” he said. There was a cramp in his neck from the odd position he’d been lying in, and he stretched out to relax it away. It made the eggs shift inside him again, and he tried to ignore it.

“Come here often?” Wade grinned. His feet slapped against the stone as he stepped around to the side and sat cross-legged next to Peter.

Peter rolled his eyes and sat up a little more with a groan. “Yeah, sure, all the time,” he said, running fingers back through his hair. His costume had floated away from him and was lodged against the spot where the water overflowed the pool on its way to the lake. He reached out to grab it back to him, and again felt the eggs. It took pressing his lips together to keep from making a noise.

“Oh, really?” Wade propped an elbow on his knee and tucked his chin against his palm. “I thought it was just the once.”

Peter blinked, then Wade’s double entendre sank in and he made a face. “Ha ha Wade. Like I need the reminder.”

It was Wade’s turn to blink. He tilted his head and frowned a little. “Are you all right? You seemed okay before, but--”

“I’m _fine_ ,” Peter said, more sharply than he intended. “Just… grossed out.” His eyes drifted down to Wade’s belly briefly, but he couldn’t see any difference in his shape underneath his shirt.

“Oh,” Wade said. “I didn’t-- I’ll--” He stood abruptly and turned away.

“Hey, where are you going?” Peter didn’t want to be left alone, now that Wade had woken up. They had just become a couple, and were still getting used to each other under that designation, but Wade was the only familiar, comforting thing here.

“I’m going to go get my mask,” Wade said. “I know my skin is gross. I’m sorry, I didn’t think you--”

“No!” Panic shot through Peter as he realized how Wade had misinterpreted his words. He shot up out of the water, twisting around to reach over the edge of the pool and grab Wade’s ankle. “No, no, Wade, I meant the whole, ugh, the whole tentacle thing, not your face! No, Wade, come back. Come on.”

Damn, what a shitty way to start the morning. Evening? Whatever.

Hesitation was written across Wade’s face and the lines of his posture, but he turned around anyway, sat back down. “What’s wrong with Uheni? She’s sentient, and we’re all consenting adults. And, you know, whatever mature creatures of her species are referred to as.”

“Uh. Seriously?”

“I know it’s a bit weird, but it felt good, didn’t it? You came _really_ hard, Spidey,” Wade giggled. The grin stayed on his face as he rubbed at his abdomen through his shirt. “I thought it was a lot of fun.”

“You’re _not_ grossed out by the fact that your body is a host for alien spawn?” Peter couldn’t believe it. How on earth could anyone find it enjoyable? Yeah, there was that orgasm that had literally made him pass out--unless it was some other factor that he’d passed out from, like some kind of physical shock--but the body couldn’t help responding to stimulation. Just like he’d felt earlier when he’d woken up.

The grin left Wade’s face, replaced by a frown. “Didn’t we have this discussion? Did you forget I told you I was married to an alien once?”

Peter didn’t want to admit that yes, he’d forgotten. Wade had told him that in the middle of _the event_ , how was he supposed to have a clear memory of it? “I feel like this is a _bit_ different from that.”

“I guess.”

“You _guess_? Did your alien spouse put eggs in your ass?”

“No, of course not! I would’ve told you already.” Wade’s frown turned into a scowl. “Why are you freaking out at me about this? Sure seemed like you were enjoying yourself yesterday.”

“See! I don’t even know if it was yesterday!” Peter flung a hand out towards the lake. “We’re trapped here, Wade, with parasites in our gut, no real food, and nothing to do for nine whole days!”

“Uh, is my brain _really_ fried? Didn’t we have this discussion already?” Wade squinted at him. “I am pretty sure we had this discussion already. Pretty sure also that you said you’d try to think of it as a vacation.”

“Yeah? Well I changed my mind,” Peter spat. “This is a complete freakshow.”

Neither of them said anything more, and the silence that fell between them was awkward. It stretched out and grew longer until Peter was done soaking, and he stood up out of the water. Feeling self conscious, because of how odd and uncomfortable he was with the state of his body, he held his dripping costume up in front of his crotch to hide his privates. Wade must have sensed his discomfort, because he turned away.

Peter didn’t like this sudden unease in their relationship, but he couldn’t make himself say anything. He didn’t know if there was anything he _could_ say. It was still mostly Wade’s fault they were here. Yeah, Peter had played his part too, which was why he’d agreed to play host, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. Even if his body liked it too much.

That was the entire problem. Not that pain would have been tolerable, but it was well outside his comfort zone to enjoy something so viscerally bizarre, and that made him crabby.

“I’m going to go wring out my suit,” he announced, and stalked off towards the dry part of the cave at the back, leaving Wade sitting there by the hot spring.

It was going to be a long nine days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo hoo! Smutty smut smut! And... angst?? God dammit,,,, how does this happen to me,,,,, I'm a good boy,,,


	4. ARTWORK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just related artwork. :B The next chapter is in progress, I just thought y'all would appreciate this.
> 
> This artwork is mine and I give myself permission to post it. Huzzah!

  
On tumblr [here](https://indomitablydirty.tumblr.com/post/164527736920/i-mean-theyre-totally-making-good-use-of-the).

  
On tumblr [here](https://indomitablydirty.tumblr.com/post/165279915265/oh-dear-what-have-these-two-gotten-themselves).

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this fic, ya nasties. Worry not, there will be plenty of good stuff coming. Like Wade and Peter. ;D


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